What am I here for? I am, in order of occurrence:


Daughter, I am then and always my mother’s daughter. Along with becoming a daughter I became a niece and granddaughter.

Sister, first came Donald, one year and 13 days after my birth…then came the rest.

Friend. I made friends, sure I didn’t keep any, but that’s a part of childhood.

Daughter, again. I know right, isn’t it awesome? I became my Dad’s daughter, and then…

A sister, to a wonderful baby girl, and then the best little brother.

High school student, high school is not to be ignored, aside from family it can be the most influential time in a young person’s life….not that I recall much. :D

A soldier. Becoming and being a soldier was an important decision, and probably the first true decision of my own. I will never regret this choice, and though it ended sourly, I’d go back and do it again in a heartbeat.

Wife. The second decision I made on my own. When I realized that maybe I wanted more then a career in life, but a family to share life with.

Mother, the best thing that’s happened to me. Being a mother to Isaac, and now Kyle, and in the future I can hope for one more. Though the pregnancies proved difficult, the end results were beautiful, happy little boys.

Writer. Ah, I’m not much of a writer, but hell, I’m trying to get there.

Cook, I love to cook, and if you were to come to my home, and I were able to…I’d love to feed you.

Yet, in the end, this all brings me down to, who am I? I am all of these things mentioned above, but when I find time to myself, I happen to feel quite lost. Wondering what in the world I should do, I love time to myself, and if it didn’t feel selfish I’d probably write more since I do personally love to do that. I also love to draw, though over time I’ve realized that if I don’t pick this back up soon I’ll lose it. It’s hard though, if I draw, Isaac will want to as well, but before you say it…it’s not as simple as giving him his own supplies…why would he want to draw on his paper when Mommy’s must be better! I also love editing, but this goes with the other things, I’m starting to find that if it won’t further or improve my RL (real life) then I set it aside in hopes of something else. Like cooking, I like cooking, but I can’t cook all day, that’s just stupid. Obviously a person can not seperate themselves from the titles life gives them, but surely one can be able to sit and atleast narrow it down to one thing for a moment of peace! A moment, where I can do something, without having to worry about every other thing, one way or another.

I don’t know, I suppose I’m rambling on about the fact that I don’t know what to do with myself. I know what to do with all the aforementioned aspects of me, but when it comes to just plain me…I’m clueless beyond repair, well hopefully not beyond. I have a friend, Ren, who is currently helping me think of something. She’s a dear, and maybe we can think of something I can do without further destroying my hands, while managing something I could enjoy and maybe even put to use in life and home.

So, what do you do with yourself, or do you find yourself quite bored with just you and resort to what your list above would be?